Dear Diary:
I believe I'm a good person. You know, I think that there's good in everyone, but—here we are! First day of senior year! And I look around at these kids that I've known all my life and I ask myself—what happened?
Freak! Slut! Burnout! Bug-eyes! Poser! Lard-ass!
We were so tiny, happy and shiny
Playing tag and getting chased
Freak! Slut! Loser! Shortbus!
Singing and clapping, laughing and napping
Baking cookies, eating paste
Bull-dyke! Stuck-up! Hunchback!
Then we got bigger, that was the trigger
Like the Huns invading Rome
Oh, sorry!
Welcome to my school, this ain't no high school
This is the Thunderdome
Hold your breath and count the days, we're graduating soon
White trash!
College will be paradise, if I'm not dead by June!
But I know, I know, life can be beautiful
I pray, I pray for a better way
If we changed back then, we could change again
We can be
Ow!
Just not today
Hey, are you okay?
Get away, nerd
Oh, okay
Freak! Slut! Cripple! Homo! Homo! Homo!
Things will get better soon as my letter
Comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown
Wake from this coma, take my diploma
Then I can blow this town
Dream of ivy-covered walls and smoky French cafés
Watch it!
Fight the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze!
Ooooops
Ram Sweeney. Third year as linebacker and eighth year of smacking lunch trays and being a huge dick
What did you say to me, skank?
Aah, nothing!
But I know, I
I know, I
Life can be beautiful
Beautiful
I pray, I pray
I pray, I pray
For a better way
For a better way
We were kind before;
We can be kind once more
We can be ,
Agh!... Hey Martha
Hey
Martha Dunnstock. My best friend since diapers
We on for movie night?
Yeah, you're on Jiffy Pop detail
I rented 'The Princess Bride.'
Ho-ho-ho, again? Wait, don't you have it memorized by now?
What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending
Martha Dumptruck! Wide load! Honnnnnk!
Hahaaa!
Kurt Kelly. Quarterback. He is the smartest guy on the football team. Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf
Haha! Alriiight!
Hey! Pick that up! Right now!
I'm sorry, are you actually talking to me?
Yes, I am. I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on my friend. You're a high school has-been waiting to happen. A future gas station attendant
have a zit right
Dear diary:
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Why do they hate me?
Why don’t I fight back?
Why do I act like such a creep?
Why…
Why won’t he date me?
Why did I hit him?
Why do I cry myself to sleep?
Why…
Somebody hug me!
Somebody fix me!
Somebody save me!
Send me a sign, God!
Give me some hope, here!
Something to live for!
Ahh! Heather, Heather, and Heather!
And then there's the Heathers. They float above it all
I love Heather, Heather, and Heather
Heather McNamara, head cheerleader. Her dad is loaded—he sells engagement rings
Heather Duke, runs the yearbook. No discernible personality, but her mom did pay for implants
And Heather Chandler, the Almighty
She is a mythic bitch
They're solid Teflon—never bothered, never harassed
I would give anything to be like that
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I'd like to be their boyfriend
That would be
If I sat at their table, guys would notice me
So
I'd like them to be nicer
That would be
I'd like to kidnap a Heather and photograph her naked in an abandoned warehouse and leave her tied up for the rats
Grow up, Heather. Bulimia is so '87.
Maybe you should see a doctor, Heather
Yeah, Heather. Maybe I should
Ah, Heather and Heather
Heather. Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over all the vomiting. You're late for class
Heather wasn't feeling well. We're helping her
Not without a hall pass, you're not. Week's detention
Um, actually, Ms. Fleming, all four of us are out on a hall pass. Yearbook committee
see you're all listed. Hurry up and get where you're going
This is an excellent forgery. Who are you?
Veronica Sawyer. I crave a boon
What boon?
Um. Let me sit at your table, at lunch. Just once. No talking necessary. If people think that you guys tolerate me, then they'll leave me
Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips, and absence notes
How about prescriptions?
Shut up, Heather
Sorry, Heather
For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure
And a symmetrical face. If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I'd have matching halves. That's very important
Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds
And ya know, ya know, ya know?
This could be beautiful
Mascara, maybe some lip gloss
And we're on our way
Get this girl some blush;
And Heather, I need your brush
Let's make her beautiful
Let's make her
Let's make her
Make her
Okay?
Okay!
Out of my way, geek!
I don't want trouble—
You're gonna die at 3pm!
Don't you dare touch me! Get away, pervert!
What did I ever do to them?
Who could survive this?
I can't escape this!
I think I'm dying!
Who's that with Heather?
Whoa
Heather, Heather,
And someone!
Heather, Heather,
And a babe!
Heather, Heather,
Veronica?!
Veronica? Veronica? Veronica!
And you know, you know, you know
Life can be beautiful
You hope, you dream, you pray
And you get your way!
Ask me how it feels
Lookin' like hell on
My God, it's beautiful!
I might be
And when you're
It's a beautiful frickin' day!
Heather! Heather! Heather! Veronica!
Heather! Heather! Heather! Veronica!
Veronica! Veronica! Veronica!
Veronicaaaaa!